The Little Merdemon
by Ice Demon Allysandra
Summary: Inuyasha is a prince who has a seemingly normal life . That is until he meets Sesshomaru, the prince of the Merdemons, who has developed an overly possessive obsession for him. Will love bloom? FINISHED! I OWN NOTHING!
1. Chapter 1

**The Little Merdemon**

_This is a story by me and my sister Lightning Demon Tetra._

_Disclaimer: We do not own Inuyasha or The Little Mermaid. We're just gonna screw with it a little!_

_Do not sue! We have very good lawyers._

_Ice Demon Allysandra: Hey! Here beside me is my sister and best friend Lightning Demon Tetra._

_Lightning Demon Tetra: How y'all doin dawgs!_

_Allysandra: Enjoy the fic, mortals!_

Ch. 1

The sun shone brightly over the beautiful Sea of Japan. It was like a wonderful guide for the _Tetsuaiga _on its journey west. Prince Inuyasha stood moodily on the bow of the ship while the nice cool breeze of the air blew through his long silver hair.

The sound of those annoying sailors wailing their stupid sailor songs hurt the two puppy ears perched on his head. They just got on his last nerve! Miroku, his perverted caretaker, leaned over the railing emptying the contents of his stomach.

"Why is it always carrots!" he yelled just before he threw up again.

"Well the sea sure is calm. Looks like Lord Inutaisho is in a happy mood today." said Totosai, the old captain of the ship. This got Inuyasha's attention. "Lord Inutaisho?" he asked.

"Why, he's the ruler of the Merdemons. I thought every one knew about him." Totosai replied. Miroku forgot his illness for a moment. "Merdemons? Inuyasha, pay no attention to that bull shit!" Inuyasha ignored him and walked off.

"No wait Inuyasha!" Inuyasha walked off to see how Miroku was doing before he walked off again. "Damn him how can he do that to me all the time!"

Meanwhile, under the sea...

A great concert in honor of the Lord Inutaisho was being held. All eight of his sons were singing. (Jakotsu, Suikotsu, Genkotsu, Makotsu, Renkotsu, Kyokotsu, Kouga, and his youngest Sesshomaru. Scary huh?) The only one who could really sing was Sesshomaru.

Everyone just tried to be nice to the other brothers since their father was their king.

The concert began, the brothers, still tone deaf.(Good thing everyone had their earplugs!) "Now ladies and gentlefish, put your fins together for Sesshoma...huh!" Sesshomaru was nowhere to be seen. Everyone looked up at Inutaisho.

"SESSHOMARU!" he roared.The entire ocean shook with his fury.

"La la la la la la la la... Under the sea. Darlin' it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me..." Rin sing-songed...again.The underwater treasure hunt seemed to take all day and Rin was getting very bored. Prince Sesshomaru turned back and looked at her coldly.

'That's getting old, Rin." he said. "Sorry, Sesshy." she said with a smirk. He growled and turned back to the sunken ship. "Come on," he said excitedly. "Yes Jaken that also means your sorry ass too!" Jaken tried to keep up.

"If your father knew about this...!" Sesshomaru glared. "Whose gonna tell him?" he asked.

"Coming Sire." he said quietly.

They went inside and looked around. "Oh my God! Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?" Sesshomaru asked. Humans and half-demons were his passion. "Hey Jaken have you ever been in one of these.. what do you call them... butts?"

"It's pronounced 'boat' you ingrate." Jaken muttured under his breath. Luckily, Sesshomaru was busy exploring a chest in the backside of the ship.

Suddenly, Rin yelled out: "Hey look at this, Princey!" Ignoring the latest nickname, (and she had a lot of them) he swam over. "What is it?" She held up a small package with a funny picture of a soldier on it. "What does it say?" she asked.

He read. "Con... Con... Condem." (We purposely spelled it wrong) He was confused. "I bet Myoga will know what it does." he put it in his bag and led them to the surface.

_Ice Demon Allysandra: Where the hell did that come from?_

_Lightning Demon Tetra: What?_

_Allysandra: This fic you moron!_

_Tetra: For one: I am not a moron. Two: It was our twisted minds that thought it up. Third: We watch too much TV!_

_Allysandra: Oh well. Please review everyone!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Ice Demon Allysandra: Hello! Hope y'all are enjoying this. Right Tetra? Tetra? Where is she?_

_Lightning Demon Tetra: I am right here stupid!I was just reviewing your story dodo!_

_Allysandra: Watch it little sister. (glares) Anyway, enjoy the fic! Let's play Trouble while they read._

_Tetra: I wanna play Sorry! (whines uncontrollably)_

_Allysandra: (covers ears) Alright! Alright! Okay on with the fic! By the way, you can now review us whether or not you are a member._

_Tetra: (stops crying and grins evily)_

Ch. 2

"So Myoga watcha think about it? What is it? Huh, huh?" Rin said. Sesshomaru glanced at her. "No more crab cakes for you." he said. Myoga looked at the strange thing.

"This I haven't seen in years!" he pulled the "condem" (like I said, we spelled it wrong on purpose) from the pack. "Humans and even half-demons use this... to carry their precious... things." he said blushing.

"Oooh, aaah" said Sesshomaru and Rin. "Most people like to... er... sing special music when they use this." Myoga continued.

Sesshomaru's mouth dropped open. "Music? Oh shit! The concert!" he swore. Jaken looked startled. "Master, watch your language!" Sesshomaru didn't bother to glare. "My father's gonna kill me... and revive me, and kill me, and revive me again, and..."

"We get the fuckin' point!" Everyone shouted. "Now who needs to watch their language?" Sesshomaru said rolling his eyes. They dived back down into the ocean.

Meanwhile in an eerie cave surrounded by miasma in a remote part of the ocean...

"Yes, hurry home sweet-pea. We wouldn't wanna miss daddy's little musical would we?" said a venomous voice. (guess who) "Kanna, Kagura!"Naraku called to his two stingray minions. They instantly snapped to attention. "I want you to keep an eye on him... he's kind of cute." He turned back to "one" of his mirrors.

Naraku went to his dresser and applied more eyeshadow while he barked at Kanna and Kagura. Mostly Kagura. He thought up a genius, and very strange, plan.

In Inutaisho's throne room (quick, grab your earplugs! Oh, and hide your kids)...

"SESSHOMARU! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T GET YOUR ASS HERE TO SING ONE DAMN SONG! I MEAN FOR CHRIST'S (no offense to God) SAKE! YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT!" and so on and so on...

"Good Lord (no offense again) Dad! I said I was sorry! Why do you have to be such a bastard about everything!" "Don't you take that tone with me! Get out! Don't you ever go back up to the surface again! Just in case you're wondering, Jaken told me!" Sesshomaru swam away angrily.

"I think I was too hard on him... Na!" He laughed viciously.

In Sesshomaru's room...

Sesshomaru was mad as hell! He was going to show his father he could do whatever the hell he wanted. But first... "Oh Jaken!" he called picking up his sword, the Tokijiin. (sp?)

About ten minutes later, Sesshomaru leaves Jaken in a crumpled heap to go back to the surface again. When he got there he heard singing, laughing, and... burping contests. Following the sounds he came across the _Tetsuaiga_. He peered over the railing and looked around.

Suddenly his eyes landed on a boy with long silver hair, beautiful golden eyes, two puppy dog ears on his head, and the weirdest red outfit he'd ever seen. Despite that, the guy was gorgeous! Sesshomaru heard the annoying call of Myoga coming his way. "Hey, sweetie! Ooh, whatcha lookin' at?" he asked.

"Look," Sesshomaru said drooling. "He's very beautiful isn't he?" Myoga looked in the direction he was pointing. His eyes landed on a huge saber-toothed cat. His face scrunched up in disgust.

"I don't know. He looks kinda hairy and slobbery to me. And look at that overbite! You sure know how to pick 'em!" he said sarcastically. "Not that one! Ew!" he added dreamily, "The grouchy looking one all by himself." Myoga looked up at him. "That's who I was talking about!" He said grinning.

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. He turned back to the boy. Just then, A drunk guy in a purple robe and looked like a monk stumbled over to him. "he-hey I-I-Inu-y-yash-a! I..." he paused. "What w-was I saying?" he slurred.

Sesshomaru sighed. "Inuyasha? That's hot. I'd like to scream that over and over." Sesshomaru is a big pervert right now. Suddenly he had an idea. "Pssst!" he whispered. Inuyasha glanced up. "Hello?" "Come here," whispered a voice from the railing. Inuyasha got up to check out the voice with his senses alert.

Suddenly a man with silver hair and a white fish tail burst up and yelled "Why hello cutie! I like you! Whatcha doin'? Can I help on any sexual problems you might have?"

Inuyasha looked at him in disbelief for a moment. Then he fainted and fell over board. Sesshomaru grinned. "He likes me. I can tell." He dove down to retrieve his prey.

_Tetra: Why do you have to say faint? It is so stupid! Say passed out!_

_Allysandra: Because little sister, faint is a proper medical term. By the way, we were just kidding about Inu's outfit. We really love his fire rat robe. It suits him._

_Tetra: Hah! I knew you didn't stand a chance against me at Pretty Pretty Princess!_

_Allysandra: However, my dear little sister I'm better than you when it comes to Twister. (Gives Tetra a nuggie)_

_Tetra: By the way, why do you have to call me little sister all the time!_

_Allysandra: Because you're younger than me, because your little and insignificant, and because I'll beat you if you don't shut up and quit whining! Read and review folks!_

_Tetra: We don't own Ice Age. (Starts whining at Allysandra's comment.)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Ice Demon Allysandra: Hey there! Look at all these reviews ( not counting the one Tetra sent)! Sweet! You can now send reviews whether or not you're a member now. No flames please. Sorry about the spelling errors. We were fighting over the keyboard._

_Lightning Demon Tetra: Yeah, and I'm winning!_

_Allysandra: (glares) Shut up and get Operation out of the game closet. I got the last one._

_Tetra: Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Why do you always have to be so mean?_

_Allysandra: I'm your big sister. It's my job. Get the game and I'll let you have candy before bed. 'Kay?_

_Tetra: No not 'kay! It's not your job, your not even my real sister! I hate you!... NO WAIT! I didn't mean that! Sure I'll go get the game, just don't hit me!_

_Allysandra: Check the birth certificate. Do we have any sugar left? Sorry my sister's dillusional. On with the fic!_

_Tetra: Read my script... vaccumm (It actually rhymes with this word. She didn't actually say that. What do you think she is... retarded?)_

Ch.3

On the shore...

"Hello? Helllooo! HELLO!" Sesshomaru screamed at the unconscious form of Inuyasha. "Man is he deaf or something. Probably rude! He won't even tell me why he won't answer me." (He's kinda dumb ain't he?) Myoga appeared.

"Let's see what we got here." he poked Inuyasha. "He'd be better if he was medium rare with a hint of Seaweed Sauce." "I'm not gonna eat him!" Sesshomaru yelled. Myoga looked at him with a smile. "I wasn't talking about you. I'm hungry." Sesshomaru smiled (uh-oh, we all know what it means when he smiles)

"Touch one hair on his pretty little head, and I'll get rid of you like I got rid of your mom." he said. "WHAT!" Myoga quickly hopped away. Inuyasha groaned. Sesshomaru turned back to him. His mouth was hanging slightly open. Sesshomaru got an idea.

"Well, while he is still asleep, I might as well give him something he probably has always wanted." Sesshomaru leaned in for a passionate kiss with Inuyasha. Just then, a high pitched squeal went up. "INUYASHA!" Sesshomaru quickly escaped into the waves and hid behind a huge rock.

A girl in a extremely short green dress came running up to Inuyasha who was now waking up. "Oh God! Why does that little slut have to find me everywhere I decide to pass out!" He put on a false smile.

"Hi Princess Kagome." he said. "Oh Inuyasha. Call me Kagome. After all, we are gonna be married soon!" She giggled in a very annoying way. It kind of sounded like a dying donkey having an orgasm. Sesshomaru's mouth dropped open. "What is that lesbo bitch doing to _my_ Inuyasha!" Sesshomaru screamed. "He belongs to me you scum sucking parasite!"

Inuyasha looked around. "Did you hear something?" he asked. "No. Let's go inside. I'll show you my room..." she leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I'm not wearing any panties." Sesshomaru was sickened. "Yeah I bet you got a lot of cobwebs up there too."

Meanwhile, In Inutaisho's Lair...

"So, no news of my son huh?" Inutaisho asked one of his servants.

"No sir," he answered "but we are definantly looking as hard as we can." Inutaisho's reply was that of complete shock. "NO YOUR NOT YOU GAY IDIOT! NOW KEEP LOOKING BEFORE I DO TO YOUR WIFE WHAT YOUR TOO CHICKEN SHIT TO DO YOURSELF!"

The servant looked confused. "My wife died 5 years ago." he replied.

"Oh...WELL FIND SOMEONE WHO DOES HAVE A WIFE AND LET ME KNOW!" Inutaisho shouted

In Naraku's lair...

Naraku was sitting in a beanbag chair watching the Bold and the Beautiful. "Oh my God Ridge, you've been married to Brooke for how long! I mean it's on and off and on and off! Geez! Go back and marry Taylor again, at least she loved you for you! Man I got to call Inutaisho about this!" He picked up his shell phone and called him up.

Inutaisho: Hello?

Naraku: Don't hang up! Are you watching the Bold and the Beautiful!

Inutaisho: Oh my God yes! I mean they have been married how many times!

Naraku: I know! And Nick ruining it didn't help!

Inutaisho: Oh hey it's back on I'll call you later after As the World Turns!

Naraku: Okay talk to you then.

Naraku hung up the phone, and continued watching his show as he yelled, "Kagura! Get me a bag of Cheetos!"

With Sesshomaru...

Sesshomaru was beyond pissed. One, he was mad because that priss was messing with his man and two, he just passed his dad yelling at Lily of As the World Turns.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING DAD! SHE IS A PERSON INSIDE A BOX! SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU SO STOP YELLING! Thank you!" He stormed off to his room listening to his dad who obviously didn't hear him.

"That does it! I'm sick of this shit! I'm going up to see the Sea Spider Naraku tonight!" he said to his room. So he swam off taking Rin with him. Arriving, Sesshomaru asked "Are you sure this is the place?"

Signs saying "Naraku's lair", "This way to Naraku", "2 more feet to go", and "Welcome, wipe your tailfin. Enjoy your stay!" were all over the place."Uh, yeah." Rin said. (OBVIOUSLY!) "Just making sure." he said. They went in. Naraku greeted them with a plate of cookies.

"Oh hi! I just made these. Would you like one? They're chocolate chip! Don't be a codfish come in!"

They went into the living room. "Now what can I do for you?" Naraku asked picking up his sewing needles. "Well you could stop embarrasing yourself and make me a potion so I can turn Inuyasha into a merdemon so I can make him mine! Or you can get me a stroodle. Apple if you will." he replied licking his lips.

After eating the stroodle, they got down to business. "Okay I'll give you what you desire. If... if you give me something I've always wanted..." he paused. "What!" Sesshomaru said desperate to get the potion and get Inuyasha. And maybe kill Kagome. "I want...

_Tetra: We hate to leave you like this so we will go ahead and tell you!_

"... the first full season of the Bold and the Beautiful!" Naraku replied with his finger straight up in the air like a dork would do.

_Allysandra: Okay, we've gone off the deep end. By the way, Artemis, you are not our favorite sister. How did she escape the mental hospital?_

_Tetra: Oops, I might have accidentally let her out! What! She asked me to open the door!_

_Allysandra: You did what! You idiot!_

_Tetra: Whatever! By the way we don't own The Bold and the Beautifulor As the World Turns. Also, don't ask us how we got T.V.s and phones down there! We don't know either._


	4. Chapter 4

_Ice Demon Allysandra: Hello there! Wow! Look at all the reviews!_

_Lightning Demon Tetra: Hey Allysandra, can I have the last popsickle? Mmm!_

_Allysandra: What flavor is it?_

_Tetra: ORANGE! YUMMY! (acts like a two-year old)_

_Allysandra: Yeah sure. I prefer cherry. _

_Tetra: Yeah! Thanks:) BTW, the Bold & the Beautiful is a soap opera as well as As the World Turns._

_Allysandra: Fic time. I'm more of a Guiding Light fan (another soap opera) Please read and review._

_( Allysandra and Tetra get into argument over which soap opera is the best)_

_Key notes:_

_"..." (talking out loud)_

_'...' (thoughts)_

Ch. 4

Last time on The little Merdemon... (We had to do it)

_"I want the first full season of the Bold and the Beautiful!"_

Sesshomaru and Rin stared in shock. "Uh... what?" they asked. "You heard me! The entire full season, and maybe with deleted scenes!" Naraku repeated. _'This guy is so fuckin' weird'_ Sesshomaru thought. "I don't know..." he began.

"Think of Inuyasha!" Rin yelled. "Yes! I must think of that ultra hot hunk with the extra long... OH NO! I'm thinking like my dad!" Sesshomaru had a spaz out attack. Both Rin and Naraku started to slink off so nobody would notice.

After 30 minutes of ranting, Naraku screamed "Okay! I'll get you the potion!" Sesshomaru stopped screaming.

"Yay!" Naraku smiled. "But first, I want a big wet kiss." Sesshomaru froze "WHAT! You sick pervert! What do you think I am, a homo!" "Uh yeah!" Naraku said sarcastically. _'This decision... like dad when we used to play_ _Bouncy Seahorse... is so hard'_ Sesshomaru thought.

"Fine! But make it quick! Rin, go out!" Hhe did.

About 2 minutes later, Sesshomaru hurried out with a potion bottle in his hand. "What happened?" Rin asked. "We're leaving." he replied. "What happened!" she asked again. "We're leaving NOW!" Sesshomaru said with more force. She shrugged and followed.

With Inuyasha...

That night, Inuyasha had finally escaped the Mega-bitch. "lt's about time! That annoying little twit can't leave me alone! Curse my parents! Why did they have to make me be engaged to her! I've seen ants smarter and cuter than her!" Inuyasha said taking a big swig of his ginger ale. (Nobody liked him when he was drinking so he gave up!)

Sesshomaru watched from the shadows. _'Don't worry, my pet. Soon you won't ever have to worry_ _about her ugly ass ever again' _He smirked as he pictured Inuyasha and him living happily ever after...and Kagome's head on a rusty spike.

"Awright!" he whispered. (Quagmire from Family Guy. I think that's how you spell it)

Inuyasha was just about to doze off when something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Running down the beach was... Owen Wilson! Owen ran up to him. "Hey man! Have you seen the set of my new movie? I think I lost it somewhere." he said. Inuyasha was shocked.

_First hot guys with fish tails and now this? I am so losing it' _He turned back to Owen. "Um... this is Japan. Aren't you supposed to be in America or something?" he asked. Owen gasped.

"Oh my God, you're right! Thanks, bud!" He ran off.

After Inuyasha got over the shock, he looked around to see if the coast was clear. "Well I hope no one will mind if I get naked and go for a swim right?" he asked. Sesshomaru's mouth dropped open so wide that New York could possibly fit inside! "Oh my God! Inuyasha is going to swim... naked...in _my _ocean! It's like a dream come true!" Sesshomaru squealed as he did a funny dance.

He watched Inuyasha take off his large fire rat kimono. "Wow! What a body!" he squealed again. He took out a waterproof camera and snapped a few pictures to add to his collection. Sesshomaru's favorite part came up next! Inuyasha started fiddling with the bow on his pants!

Then, right before Inuyasha's big red kimono pants started to slide down his slender lower torso, a high pitched squeal of joy hit both Sesshomaru's and Inuyasha's ears.

"Inuyasha! I've found you, you sly dog you! Did you honestly think you could escape me!" It was Kagome! To Sesshomaru's disappointment, Inuyasha pulled up and tied his pants and replaced his shirt looking rather embarrased. Fortunantly, neither Inuyasha nor Kagome could hear the terrible curse words that escaped Sesshomaru's lips. (But we did! LOL! Though we won't tell you!)

Anywho, under the sea...

"Oh for Christ's sake! Why do they always do this to me! It's like Ryan Seacrest has nothing better to do than put this show on brake! I mean American Idol is about singing, not commercials!

I mean for the sake of the Lord, why does this have to happen to me! I do belive it is time to ask Naraku's opinion on this!" Inutaisho yelled as he scooped up his phone and started dialing his "phone-buddy's" number.

"Hello!" Naraku answered with disappointment in his tone of voice. "Yo Naraku! You watching American Id..." Inutaisho was cut off by the angry wails of Naraku. "OH YES I AM! Oh and hi Inutaisho! LIKE HE HAS THE NERVE TO DO THAT TO ME! AND AT THE GOOD PART TOO! Oh my God, call you later 'cause it's coming back on!" Naraku squealed in excitement.

"You're right! Talk to you later!" Inutaisho smiled as he hung up the phone and practically back-flipped into the seat as his face made a certain look and drool started to leak from his face. (Eww! GROSS!)

Back on shore...

Kagome was now sitting beside Inuyasha on the beach rambling on and on and on. "Oh Yashie!" She suddenly threw her arms around his neck. "This is so romantic! Don't ya think? Huh? Don't ya, don't ya, don't ya!" she shrieked nuzzling his neck. _'How long has it been since she's brushed her_ _teeth or taken a bath!!'_ Inuyasha groaned.

"Hey Kagome, why don't you run inside and grab a bottle of whine? I'll be waiting right here." he said. Kagome's eyes widened. "Alright! I knew you wanted me! Be right back!" She ran toward the castle.

"Finally! I thought she'd never leave!" he said. "Oh man! I need a bath from her touching me! Yuck!" He quickly removed his clothes and dove into the ocean. _'Okay. I gotta hide. She'll be coming back_ _any minute now'_

He looked around and spotted a large rock. _'Perfect'_ He swam for the rock, unaware of a certain merdemon waiting there.

Quickly, Inuyasha whipped behind the rock, closed his eyes, and crossed his fingers. He heard Kagome coming back. "Yashie! I'm back! Yashie? Where are you?" _'Please don't find me! Go away!'_ He heard a cough coming from above him. _'Oh God. Please no!'_ Cracking his eyes open, he looked up and came face-to-face with a hot guy with long silver hair, yellow eyes...and... a fish tail?

"Hello." Sesshomaru said smiling. His fangs flashed in the moonlight. Inuyasha stared at him a moment. Then he opened his mouth to scream. Sesshomaru quickly covered his mouth with his hand and flashed him another big smile.

"Don't try that again. It won't work this time!"

_Tetra: We don't own Owen Wilson or Sleepy Hollow, but I can name you the cast of Sleepy Hollow! Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci..._

_Allysandra: Let them watch the movie for themselves! By the way, I'd like to introduce our eldest sister Demon of Darkness Celestria. (yeah there's more of us. scares us too)_

_Tetra: Unfortunantly she couldn't be with us right now but she should be here for the next chapters! Please Review! Now where was I... ah yes... Christopher Lee, Christopher Walken..._

_Allysandra: Oh for the love of God! Shut up!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Allysandra: I can't believe it! All these reviews and not a single flame. You guys rock!_

_Tetra: Hi guys and girls! I finally got finished with the cast of Sleepy Hollow! I won't bug you no more! This is gonna be a fun chapter ain't it, Allysandra?_

_Allysandra: Yes! So grab your drool cups and hang on to your vomit bags!_

_Tetra: Vomit bags! Are you kidding! They better get extra large tubs!_

_Allysandra: Lol! Enjoy! Oh, please welcome the wonderful Demon of Darkness Celestria! Okay I said it. I want my five bucks._

_Celestria: How sweet, you believed me. On with the fic! (gives Allysandra the $5)_

_Allysandra: That's my line!_

Ch. 5 (Dun, dun, dun... Scary music plays)

Inuyasha struggled with Sesshomaru's slender, but strong hand. He could hardly breath now and lashed out with his feet at whatever he could hit. BINGO! Right on the bullseye! Sesshomaru didn't even flinch. "What are you aiming at?" he asked. Inuyasha glanced down. _'Oh, shit. I forgot_ _he's a fish. Wait, I can't breathe!'_ He struggled trying to get free and get to the surface.

He decided to go to desperate measures. He would use his secret Kung-Fu techniques. He leaned forward and gave Sesshomaru a hard bite on the hand. _'This always gets them in the movies!'_ he thought. Sesshomaru snatched his hand back.

Inuyasha tried to get away but was stopped by a powerful arm around his waist. "Hold still, baby. This won't hurt a bit."

He pulled out the potion. _'Oh no,'_ Inuyasha thought horrified. _'He's going to kill me with the poison in that bottle and then sell my body to a horny, necrophiliac prostitute! Just my luck!'_

Sesshomaru popped the bottle into Inuyasha's mouth and practically forced him to swallow every last drop. Unfortunantly, Inuyasha couldn't because he was underwater and unable to breathe. _'My God! How dumb can this guy be!'_ he thought. Sesshomaru looked at him in disappointment.

"Why won't you drink it! Do you think it's going to kill you or something?" Inuyasha gestured to the surface. Sesshomaru finally got it. "Ooooh. You gotta breathe." Inuyasha gulped the magnificent air when he finally made it to the surface.

"God it's about time! What the hell's wrong with y... what are you staring at!" Inuyasha asked confused. Sesshomaru gave him a quick mind-undresser before answering. "Well, if you look down, you'll see a wonderful new change in your life!" Inuyasha looked down and almost had a BF! (You'll understand if you have watched White Chicks!)

"WHAT THE HELL! YOU TURNED ME INTO A FUCK'N FISH!" Inuyasha screamed, flailing his arms around in circles.Then he stopped when he heard the wailing of Kagome close by.

"INUYASHA! Where are you? You said you would be right here! Are you hiding from me? Have you been kidnapped? Oh No! I hope you haven't been kidnapped..." and so much more of her stupid rambling. Inuyasha instinctively ducked underwater, holding his breath.

Sesshomaru darted in after him and when he realized that Inuyasha was turning blue and purple from holding his breath, he sighed and said "You know, you can breath under here now that you have taken my _love_ potion!" He put quite a bit of emphasis on the word love.

"Your _what_ potion?" Inuyasha perked his head to the side and made his eyes real wide with confusion. Sesshomaru just smiled and started to swim towards his home, making sure his sexy bottom swayed a little extra for Inuyasha's viewing pleasure.

Meanwhile, in Inutaisho's living room (STILL!)...

"Ahhhh! Now that is exactly what I needed! A nice quick tinkle, and I didn't even sprinkle! Teehee, I rhymed!" He swam toward the couch and flicked on the television. What he saw nearly knocked him off his chair. "Oh God! The Enzyte commercial! I hate that guy! How much must they pay him to smile for that long! I mean really!"

His thumb seemed to fuse straight to the remote as he pressed the channel button so fast he had to stop and wait for the t.v. to catch up! _(Tetra: Wow!_ _That sounds like me:)_ He kept going until he suddenly stopped on something that almost made him drool.

The Bold and the Beautiful! "Oh wow! I was so busy flipping through channels that I almost forgot it's 11:30 already! SWEEEETT!"

While he stared unmoving _(And we are very literal, he might not even be breathing!)_ Sesshomaru dragged _(Yet again very literal.)_ Inuyasha into the house, passed the living room _(very fast in case_ _Inuyasha liked the soap opera too; highly unlikely)_ and straight into his room!

"Geez," Inuyasha said very upset, "what do you think I am? Your teddy bear perhaps, or maybe your...!" Inuyasha cut short when he saw the many pictures of him: In the shower, pool, eating cake on his first birthday, and in his...BUNNY SUIT!

"Where the hell did you get this picture!" he screamed as he yanked it off Sesshomaru's wall, tore it up, and threw it in the garbage. He was about to yell some more when Sesshomaru popped up right in front of him and kissed him very deeply and forcefully. Inuyasha could do nothing until suddenly he fainted and landed straight on Sesshomaru's bed.

"Ahh, want to get straight to business do we!" Sesshomaru said slyly as he practically leaped in bed next to Inuyasha and waited until the opportune moment!

On the other side of Sesshomaru's door, Inutaisho had invited Naraku over and they listened in on their conversation. When everything went quiet, Inutaisho pulled away and asked Naraku his opinion on his problem at hand. "What do I do! If I want Sesshomaru for myself, how do I get him without the squirt getting in the way? I mean, this guydoes seem to get my Sessy's attention!"

Naraku answered about as quickly as Inutaisho changes T.V. stations. "Sessy? Anyway, you just have to show Sesshomaru how you truely feel...the hard way! Mwwwuuuhahahahaha!" he snickered unconrtrollably.

Inutaisho shut him up quick and told Sesshomaru through the door that it was just the T.V. and not to worry too much about the noise. He gave Naraku an evil glare and stalked off in a rather "princessy manner".

Meanwhile, on the beach, where Kagome still is _(We know, what a ditz!)..._

"Inuyasha!" Kagome said in a rather weary voice as she threw yet another rock into the water and wiped more tears from her eyes.

"Where are you! Come out, come out where ever you are!" she sobbed.

Anyway, enough of her! Back to Sess and Inu! _(Snicker!)_...

Inuyasha awoke feeling a long, wet tongue glide across his neck. Inuyasha almost went into shock. "Oh my God! What the hell are you doing!" He struggled wildly while biting and scratching but quickly got stopped as Sesshomaru gave him a nice, big, long kiss. Pulling away, Sesshomaru whispered into his ear, "I am going to make you mine."

_Allysandra: We have ruined Disney as we know it._

_Tetra: Yeah, but Disney is not over yet! By the way, did you eat my last Toaster Pastry!_

_Allysandra: No, it was Artemis _

_Celestria: Thank you. (hands Allysandra half the pastry)_

_Tetra: ...! You! I knew it had to be someone! Give it back you PIG!_

_Allysandra: Please read and review!_


	6. Chapter 6

_Allysandra: Once again, thank you all so much for your reviews! Please keep sending them to us! Any ideas you have will be taken into consideration. Or mabey not. Depends if we feel like being nice or not. Lol!_

_Tetra: HOW Y'ALL DOIN'! I am in one of those moods to run butt naked through a cornfield! Maybe not. Oh well, enjoy the story!_

_Allysandra: (backs away slowly from Tetra) Yes, well...(clears throat) O-on with the fic._

_Artemis: Aren't you forgetting about me?_

_Celestria: I thought she was locked up!_

_Allysandra: She was. But... (glares at Tetra)_

_Tetra: WHAT! I said I was sorry already! Sheesh! You guys are supposed to be blessed with power, not memory! Anyway I thought she looked pitiful and... She made me do it! (starts crying uncontrollably)_

_Allysandra: (grabs the nets) Okay while we try to catch her, please read and review!_

Ch. 6 _(Allysandra: Uh-oh. Those who have weak hearts and/or stomaches, pleaseleave now! sees Tetra sneaking off Get your ass back here! You helped write this!)_

Sparks flew as Inuyasha started to have a hissy fit. "WHAT KIND OF PSYCHO-IDIOT ARE YOU! I MEAN, DO I LOOK GAY TO YOU...don't answer that question." Sesshomaru tilted his head. "You sure are a screamer...It makes me even more horny." he said licking his lips.

Inuyasha looked down. Where his legs used to be, a tail similar to Sesshomaru's _(only red in color instead of white)_ was there. "Uh... how do you...?" he started. "Reproduce? Make babies? Fuck 'til the cows come home?" Sesshomaru asked. He licked Inuyasha's fuzzyear. "Two words..." he whispered it to him.

"Oh my God! That's disgusting!" _(Sorry folks. Use your imaginations. We did!)_

With Inutaisho... _(Guess where he is. Hint: He has a remote control in his hand...Again. Celestria: Gee, sounds like Tetra!)_

"Come on. You can do it! Eat it... OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE BROOKE! IT'S ONE FREAKIN' CUPCAKE! WHAT ARE YOU... ANOREXIC!" He yelled angrily. Then the phone rang.

"Hello!" he said, still tempermentaly. "YO, ARE YOU WATCHING...?" Naraku was cut off fast. "OH YES I AM! WHAT IS WITH THIS DITZ! I MEAN ONE: SHE'S A HO! AND TWO: NOW I GUESS SHE IS ANOREXIC! GEEZ!"

While all this screaming was going on...

Sesshomaru had now tied Inuyasha down to the bed. _(take it how you will)_ He was about to kiss him again when he heard a knock on the door. "Who is it!" he yelled. "It's me, my little bouncy seahorse!" came the reply. "Oh no. It's dad." Inuyasha snickered. "Bouncy seahorse?"

Sesshomaru glared at him for a second then answered the door to see his dad with a scary smile plastered on his face and a dozen roses in his hand. "Hello my dear sweet sugar plum! I brought you some wonderful roses to make you feel good in your time of need and to tell you something very important!"

Sesshomaru looked at him with a scared expression. "What time of need? Have you been in the medication cabinet again?" he asked. Inutaisho smiled.

"Oh, sweet pea. I just wanted..." he paused and looked behind Sesshomaru and saw Inuyasha bound to the headboard. Inuyasha mouthed the words "Help me!" "Oh my Sesshomaru!" hesquealed excitedly. "Was he not as corroperative as the others?" "WHAT OTHERS!"

Sesshomaru yelled as he made a defensive movement towards his specialties. "So are you gonna bang him and toss him out?" Inutaisho asked with hope in his voice. Sesshomaru missed it. "Dad! Inuyasha and I love each other!" he snapped.

"WHAT! WHO DIED AND LIED TO YOU! I DON'T EVEN LIKE, MUCH LESS LOVE YOU! MAN YOU ARE SOME PSYCHO AREN'T YOU! GEEEZ!" Inuyasha went berserk.

Inuyasha finally stopped while breathing heavily and giving Sesshomaru his well known _death glare!_

Sesshomaru ignored him. "I want you to make preparations, Father." Inuyasha raised an eyebrow. "Preparations for what!" he asked. Sesshomaru turned to him and smiled. "Why, for our wedding ceremony of course."

He hugged him a little awkwardly since he was still tied up at the moment. "I'm so happy!" he squealed much like his father. Inutaisho's mouth dropped open. So did Inuyasha's. At the same time, they said, "WHAT!" All of a sudden, all hell broke loose.

Inutaisho started swimming around making soooo many suggestions, Inuyasha started protesting, yelling, cursing, etc., and Sesshomaru was trying to convince Inuyasha that he had no other choice and it was for a good cause. And then the day got much worse because Naraku came in.

"Oh Sesshomaru there you are! I just wanted to drop by and tell you that there's a slight problem with the potion..."

_Allysandra: Ooooh! What's gonna happen next?_

_Tetra: (Opens mouth to speak)_

_Allysandra: (Covers her mouth quickly) That was a retorical question! Sorry folks, you're just gonna have to read to find out!_

_Celestria: And don't forget to review! Or else! (Lightning strikes and scary music plays)_

_Allysnadra: Where is that coming from?_


	7. Chapter 7

_Allysandra: Hi. Well I said about all I can say._

_Tetra: Yeah because you wouldn't stop talking this morning about God only wants to know what! Oh wait, that was me! Hee hee!_

_Allysandra: As usual, read and review. Rebecca, we're sorry we've been mean to you._

_Tetra: We are? (Allysandra nudges Tetra) Ohh! Yeah we are!_

_Celestria: Enjoy! Or else... (Ligthtning strikes)_

_Allysandra: Seriously! Where is that coming from!_

_Celestria: I don't know. With me, it would be getting dark and stuff. (Glares at Tetra) _

_Tetra: Oops! Sorry!_

Ch. 7

"What problem!" Sesshomaru undid Inuyasha's bindings and pulled him in a tight embrace... too tight actually. "Sess..hom..a..ru!" Inuyasha struggled. "Let...me...go!" Sesshomaru lightened up a bit and gave Naraku a death glare. "Well!" Naraku gave him a seriously I'm Innocent look and spoke very sheepishly.

"Well, the potion doesn't last for very long. Actually it ends right about...NOW!" All of a sudden, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru turned into humans! They quickly started swimming up to the surface since they couldn't breathe.

When they made it to the surface, it was Sesshomaru's turn to have a BF. He started cursing Naraku with every word under the sun. Inuyasha yelled "Stop it you drama queen! This is all your fault. If you hadn't... Oh my God! Where are my pants!" Sesshomaru instantly stopped screaming and looked down.

"Sweet! We can get it on right now! Look, we don't even have to... _(Secret way merdemons mate)!" _Sesshomaru said as he happily bounced up and down.

"WHAT! You sick, twisted son of a bitch! I am not that way! I'm straighter than a ruler...and that's pretty straight!" Sesshomaru grinned. "You'll learn to love me. How many kids do you think we'll have?" Inuyasha lost it. "That's it! I'm going over here. Don't you dare follow me!" He walked toward his castle which coincedently they washed up in front of.

Meanwhile, in Sesshomaru's room...

"Were did they go?" Inutaisho said for the 15th time. "Like I said, 14 times before, they are on the surface!" Naraku snapped. "Why would they ever want to go up there?" Inutaisho persisted.

"BECAUSE THEY CAN'T BREATHE STUPID! DUH!" Naraku swam off angrily leaving Inutaisho in the exact same position he was in when Sesshomaru and Inuyasha left. And that is were he stayed for about 10 more minutes.

_But enough of them. That's not why your reading this story! Teehee!_

Inuyasha had just reached the castle gates when... "Inuyasha-a-a-a-a-a!" said a familiar and annoying voice. The one that sounded like a donkey...Oh you get the picture. Inuyasha turned to find Kagome running up to him._'Oh shit! As if I didn't have enough idiots running after me already' _he thought.

"Hi Inuyasha. Where were you? I haven't eaten, slept, or bathed since you been gone!" Inuyasha was about to reply when... "Inuyasha darling! Wait for me!" Sesshomaru came running up to him and hugged him. "Oh Inuyasha! Who is this...very stinky, ugly thing!"

Sesshomaru's nose wrinkled in disgust. Kagome was about to cry...again. Then she glanced down. "Inuyasha, where are your pants! His pants are gone too! Are you cheating on me!" she whailed.

Inuyasha thought it over for a while. "Yes! I am! Me and him have been together almost 5 hours now! I love him so much! Terribly sorry, now go away!" He threw himself into Sesshomaru's arms and giggled while nuzzling his neck. Sesshomaru's eyes gleamed brightly with delight while Kagome had a hissy fit.

"WHAT! YOU SICK, NASTY, GAY THING! YOUR A GUY...HE'S A GUY...HELLO! YUCK! UGGH! NEVER MIND! IT'S OVER NOW GOOD BYE!" She ran off like a horse _(no, orangutan (the monkey) because horses are too pretty)_ that had just gotten shot in the butt.

"YES!" Inuyasha screamed with glee. "Finally she left me! Man, thank you so much!" Sesshomaru grabbed him and tongued him.

When he pulled away, he bear hugged him. "Oh my precious puppy, I'm gonna make you so happy! We'll be together forever!" he squealed. Inuyasha gave him a disgusted look and replied. "That's what I'm afraid of!" Sesshomaru started chanting over and over

"I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!" Inuyasha was beginning to turn red. "Let go! Choking, not breathing!" Suddenly realization dawned on him.

"Hey, I just thought of something," Inuyasha started, trying to pull away from Sesshomaru but failing, "if you used the potion on me, then how come it turned you into a human too?" That made Sesshomaru let him go for a second, only to latch back on like a leech. Just at that time, Naraku came swimming up to the shore, then walking on the beach with his octopus legs.

"Hello my lovelies! I don't have long because I'm missing my soap opera and Kagura's at the vet getting her...shots." he said with a wicked grin. "Oh yeah! Also Kanna has a volleyball game and I have to take her to the emergency room because she can't go one game without breaking something."

Suddenly his shellphone rings. _(Celestria: Ha ha ha ha ha shellphone! I get itI get it! lol) _"Oh, that would be her! Talk amongst yourselves." He walked off yelling at Kanna who broke her pelvic bone while trying to ask a guy on a date. _(How did she do that?)_ "Anyway," Sesshomaru said quite scared-like, "like I was saying...Inuyasahdoyouwanttohavesex!"

"What?" Inuyasha asked confused. "I SAID DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX?" "Wha...you know what? I am actually pretty excited by the idea so why not!" Sesshomaru gave him a look of complete disbelief. "Really!" "No!" Inuyasha screamed at him angrily...again.

Sesshomaru looked sad for a moment. Then he gave a smirk of his own. "Playing hard to get huh?" he said with an evil glint in his eye. Inuyasha gave a frustrated sigh and was about to retort when Naraku came up to them again.

"Sorry, ducklings. Now as I was saying: You want to know why _both_ of you are human right?" Sesshomaru and Inuyasha nodded. Naraku took a deep breath. "Well, it's like this..."

_Allysandra: HAHAHAHA! Cliff hanger!_

_Tetra: Tune in for the next chapter if you want to know what happens._

_Celestria: And as always, review!_

_Artemis: Until next time our dear victims...er...I mean readers._


	8. Chapter 8

_Allysandra: Hi! We're happy to have all good reviews. But you do realize that at first we did this as a joke right?_

_Tetra: Yeah and noooobody got it!_

_Celestria: You know mortals, they think "no" means "yes" and "Do you want to die today?" means "Take me I'm yours!"_

_Artemis: We don't own Hercules...or Celestria...Or any other Disney film._

_Allysandra: Read and review. If we owned this, do you think we'd be writing this? No, it'd be on Adult Swim by now._

_Celestria: Damn Skippy!_

_Ch. 8...(Boo-yah!)_

_Last time on The Little Merdemon..._

_"Well... It's like this..."_

_(Allysandra pulls out tape recorder, scary music plays: Barney: I love you, you love me...)_

"...Umm...There wasn't enough potion left in the bottle. It only lasted until sundown." Naraku said sheepishly. Inuyasha looked at his watch, _(Don't Ask!)_ "Hey but it's only 12:00 p.m. "Exactly!" Naraku said triumphantly.

Sesshomaru leaned over and whispered in a confused Inuyasha's ear, "I think he's inhaled too much of his own ink...Tee hee, get it his own ink, as in an octopus, get it? HO HO!" Inuyasha glared at him.

"Are you high?" he asked. "High on love baby!" Sesshomaru exclaimed. Inuyasha took a giant step in the opposite direction of Sesshomaru.

Naraku stood staring at the two bickering 'lovers' and instantly got a gross inside thought. 'I wonder if Inutaisho will do 'the nasty' with me tonight?' _(Wouldn't that be difficult though?)_

"Well gotta go! Gotta pick up Kagura... No on second thought, she needs a few more shots. HAHAHAHA! Kanna's probably laying in agony in the middle of the volleyball court. See ya!" He dove into the sea and vanished.

_Off in Inutaisho's...kitchen! (Yes he has a T.V. there too!)_

Inutaisho sat at the table pigging out on cookies, ice cream, cake, pop sickles, pies...and so on and so forth. For some reason, he didn't feel like watching T.V. _(It's the end of the world!)_

"Oh Sesshy. What can I do to make you love me?" he asked himself.

_Anyway back to Inuyasha and his "Shadow"_

"Inuyasha! Why won't you wait for me!" Sesshomaru whined while following Inuyasha up the drive way to the castle. Inuyasha spun around and glared at him. "Because! You are whinny, clingy, and possibly psychotic...no definantly psychotic. Quit following me!" he yelled.

He spun around again and headed for the castle when Sesshomaru starts annoying him again. "Sooo, when do we dine on our moving in feast?" Inuyasha spun around so fast that Sesshomaru almost didn't see it happen.

"One, your not moving in with me and two, I will never feed you anything! The faster you die of starvation, the better! Three, I doubt my mom would welcome you into..." The door opened and Queen Izayoi ran out to greet them.

"Inuyasha where have you been!" she shouted. She didn't usually shout but when she did, Oh man you better find a safe place to hide! "When I saw Kagome run off like a dead gay walrus, I didn't know what to think. Well I laughed...but that's not the point." Inuyasha suddenly put on the most pittiful face he could come up with by bulging out his eyes, puckering his his lips, and faking a waterwork.

"But, but! He kidnapped me and made mea mermaid and tried to kiss me!" Izayoi raised an eyebrow. "That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard. Who tried to kiss you?" Her eyes landed on Sesshomaru. "You are...?" Sesshomaru bowed and smiled at her.

"I am Prince Sesshomaru. Your delicious...er...delightful son and I met on the beach. He's been with me this whole time." He wrapped his arms around Inuyasha's waist and pulled him closer. "We fell in love and wish to be married." finished Sesshomaru with a smirk. Inuyasha slipped from Sesshomaru's grasp and kicked him in the "crown jewels".

"You lying sack of..." he started. Izayoi interrupted. "How wonderful! That Kagome looks like a monkey and she sounds like a donkey... Oh never mind. Come in! I shall tell your father at once!"

Sesshomaru talked to Inuyasha while they walked up the drive. "Geez, everybody hates that bitch...watshername...Kagoma?" Inuyasha rolled his eyes and replied. "Kagome and yes they do! Now shut up and leave me alone!" Sesshomaru gave a slight snicker and whispered in his ear.

"I see, you can't wait until tonight huh? You know, I should give you a night you'll never forget!" Inuyasha looked hopeful. "You're gonna jump out the window onto the pointy rocks below?" he asked hopefully.

"Tee hee! No silly! I mean...you know!" "HELL NO! I like the other idea better!" Inuyasha replied, rather loudly. They went into the throne room. King Hiten _(The oldest Thunder Brother)_ was sitting on his throne braiding his hair in front of his looking glass. He was shaking his butt and singing a very disturbing song.

"Ooh-wee shut my mouth, slap your grandma. There oughta be a law...Something something something...Lord have mercy how'd I even get these britches on...!" _(Sorry Trace Adkins. We love you!)_

Izayoi, Inuyasha, and Sesshomaru all stood in the doorway watching the horrific show. Sesshomaru leaned over and whispered in Inuyasha's ear, "Now I see where you get your good looks and great ass from. Maybe I should just do you father." Inuyasha fainted, twitching slightly. The loud bang caused Hiten to turn around and his face turned redder than a ripe tomato.

"What the hell are you doing in my private chambers! Haven't I warned you about coming in here while I am fixing my hair?" Hiten said with a grin on his face. When he finished the sentance he turned around and shook his little tooshy like there was no tomorrow.

Izayoi sighed loudly, shook her head, and said, "Sure, he can shake is ass from sun-up till sun-down but he only lasts 3 seconds in bed."

"SHUT UP WOMAN! I TOLD YOU I HAD A HARD DAY THAT DAY!"

Inuyasha got up. "You are one sick bastard," Inuyasha snapped at Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru laughed. "Oh baby. You know you're the onlyone for me. That was just a joke." Inuyasha rolled his eyes and sighed. "Mom I'm going to bed." As he started to walk off, Izayoi exclaimed "I know! Why don't you and Sesshomaru share a room?"

Sesshomaru's grin grew wider. "I would be delighted. How about you, _honey_?" Inuyasha fainted again.

_With Inutaisho in his laundry room..._

Inutaisho sat on top of his washing machine. "T-t-t-h-h-h-a-a-a-a--t-t f-f-f-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-s-s g-o-o-o-o-o-d-d-d"

_Later that night in Inuyasha's (and Sesshomaru's) bedroom..._

Inuyasha got into bed as far away as possible from Sesshomaru. "Good night, dear love of my life." Sesshomaru whispered. "Keh," Inuyasha snorted. "If you get cold tonight, you can always come and snuggle up with me if you want." Inuyasha turned his back on him. "Not gonna happen. Now go to sleep you annoying piece of shit."

With that, they drifted off into La-La Land. A few hours later Inuyasha was awakened by a large, warm hand traveling down his back, hair, ears, and arms. 'Damn him! He just can't take a damn hint' he thought angrily. He turned over, ready to give Sesshomaru a piece of his mind. "Listen fish-boy! I thought I told you..."

It wasn't Sesshomaru he saw. It was...

"MIROKU! What are you doing!" Inuyasha scrambled away toward Sesshomaru. Only Sesshomaru wasn't there. 'Great! The one time I actually need him, and he's gone!' Miroku smiled and sat down on the bed, scooting closer and closer. "I've been watching you for some time now. I won't let some other prince have you."

He pushed Inuyasha down on the bed and was about to ravage him senseless when the door to the bathroom connected to the bedroom opened and Sesshomaru walked out yawning _(He washed his hands don't worry). _

He rubbed his eyes and opened them. a second later, and his golden eyes turned blood red. The second after that, he had Miroku by the neck. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! He's _MY_ MATE!" Miroku was flung into the wall. "Get out," Sesshomaru hissed. Miroku took a last look at Inuyasha before fleeing from the room. Sesshomaru turned back to the bed, sat down, and pulled Inuyasha into a loving embrace. "Are you alright?" he asked. "Yes" Inuyasha replied. Then something really shocking happened.

He returned the hug. "Thanks," he whispered and fell asleep in Sesshomaru's arms. Sesshomaru smiled and kissed his forhead. Next he placed him on the bed and covered him in the blankets. Then he lay down beside him and wrapped his arms around him.

"You're welcome. I love you my sweet Inuyasha." He too fell asleep.

_Allysandra: Ta-da!_

_Tetra: (Wipes tears away) So beautiful._

_Celestria: Ha-ha! Miroku such an asshole!_

_Artemis: For sure! Tryin to steal Inuyasha! (Growls)_

_Allysandra: Well you know what to do..._

_All: Please review! See ya next time (bow)_


	9. Chapter 9

_Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen! Put your hands (etc...) together for the Dog Demon Sisters! (Crowd cheers)_

_All: Hello!_

_Allysandra: Wow not a single flame! Cool! By the way, for those of you who have read this since we first started, you will notice Rebecca is now Artemis (She changes it every now and then)._

_Tetra: ALLY! If you start another blizzard, I'm gonna kill you!_

_Celestria: Read and review people!_

_Artemis: I like potatoes!_

_Celestria: I like cereal!_

_Artemis: (Starts to yell a bit) And I like potatoes!_

_Celestria: (Voice still the same) I like cereal!_

_Artemis: (Yelling real loud now) AND I LIKE POTATOES!_

_Celestria: Oh yeah, I like those too! _

_(We don't own Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends either!)_

_Allysandra: Oh by the way, say hi to our brother...Calab the Dog Demon of...Death. It wasn't a blizzard! ...It was a flood._

_Calab: Wuzzupeee! I...!_

_(Tetra cuts Calab off) _

_Tetra: Okay! Can't listen to him much, you might turn dumb! On with the fic._

Ch. 9

_Inuyasha woke feeling the sense of many eyes on him. He looked around to see Inutaisho, Miroku, and Naraku all staring at him drooling and holding dinner utensils. They dove in towards Inuyasha as if to eat him when..._

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! I'LL DO ANYTHING! PLEASE...huh?" Luckily the room was sound proof. Sesshomaru sat on the edge of the bed looking worried.

"Uum...Are you okay?" Inuyasha calmed down. "Of course! I'm starving!" he jumped out of bed and walked out of the room toward the dinning room. He froze in his tracks when he saw Miroku sitting in the chair next to his. Sesshomaru was still upstairs taking a shower.

He and Miroku were the only people in the room. Inuyasha shivered as he remembered the night before. He had Sesshomaru then, but now he was on his own.

Inuyasha stared at Miroku for a long while. Miroku was the first to speak. "Well if it isn't Inuyasha! Hello my sweet friend." His expression turned cold. "Inuyasha, how could you? Don't I mean anything to you? We were best friends before HE came along!" Inuyasha gave a sour expression as his thoughts exploded from his mouth.

"DON'T YOU START GIVING ME THAT "I WANT PITY" LOOK! DON'T YOU DARE! IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS WHO I GET TOGETHER WITH!" Miroku gave a possessive look and jumped out his seat.

He grabbed Inuyasha and pulled him against his chest. "Now that I have you close enough, I can talk to you man-to-man: You are mine. I won't let that ass of a prince have you! Mark my words, you belong to me. I will have you." he finished with what would be a kind smile if not for his eyes.

That was when Sesshomaru walked in. His hair was still damp from the shower. Miroku immediately let Inuyasha go and sat down before the prince of the Merdemons noticed what had been going on. Suddenly, Sesshomaru sprung to action.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH INUYASHA! GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Miroku got up quickly and stepped back a few spaces. "Woah, woah! Hold on man! I totally wasn't doing anything dude! I was just sitting here getting ready for breakfast and all that stuff!"

Sesshomaru growled a warning and sat down, pulling Inuyasha's chair as close as possible to his. A few moments later Izayoi and Hiten came in. Hiten was quick to welcome Miroku that morning.

"Wuzz up! How ya doing dude!" He stared all dreamy eyed at him. _(He has a horrible taste in guys. Makes you wonder how he and Izayoi hooked up. It can't be for the sex since he only lasts 3 seconds!) _Miroku gave a weak 'hi' and turned back to Sesshomaru who was feeding Inuyasha a bit of sasuage.

Jealousy stormed within him.

All of a sudden, Miroku's shoulder angel and devil appeared. The angel asked him, "Why won't you do anything!" The devil said, "Cuz he's a pussy! That stuck-up prince is stealing your man and you're just sitting there!" The angel thought about the devil's words and then decided.

"You know what? He's right. Kill that son of a...!" Miroku shook his head to make them disappear. Inuyasha looked at Miroku with a puzzled look.

"Are you having a seizure or something?" Miroku gave him an evil glare and snorted.

_With Inutaisho (In the therapist's office)..._

"Lately I've been having these weird dreams..." The therapist nodded. "Weird, yes, weird. Quite right, quite right. Weird. Yes." Inutaisho stopped and gave him an _'Are you insane? ' _look. After a minute he continued. "Like I was saying, I've been having these weird dreams and I was wondering if you could help me with them?"

"Hm, yes alright. Go on, yes, go on." said the therapist. "Well, I'm in my room with my son and his fiancee _(Yeah right_)." The therapist gave him a confused look. "Well, it could mean that you are going to..." the doctor began.

"No! NO! NOO!" Inutaisho yelled. "I'm not done yet! Sheesh! Anyway, I'm with them and they are tied to my bed stripped naked! Oh and I am standing over them naked as the day I was born!" The therapist sat there gawking at him while quietly contemplating whether he wanted Inutaisho to explain or run for his life.

Finally he decided to go further. "Go on and explain, yes, go on!" Inutaisho took a deep breath. "Any-who..."

_That's enough of that now. Back to the real fun... (Gigaddy, gigaddy, gigaddy, goo!)_

Miroku was still jealous. He'd already bent 5 spoons, 3 forks, and 7 knives plus he'd also broken 4 cups, 16 plates, and 2 bowls... As a result, Hiten was unconcious under the table. 'He's mine you prick! I saw him first!' he thought furiously. Sesshomaru was now seranading Inuyasha with his beautiful voice. And from the looks of it, Inuyasha was falling deeper and deeper under his spell.

Hiten woke up hearing Sesshomaru sing. He instantly sat up. Unfortunantly, the table was there. He hit his head and passed out cold again. Miroku also started to have a hissy fit.

He stood up, _(Thank God there was no table there) _and started bashing his head against the wall until he too passed out.

Sesshomaru sang softly:

_"I've dreamed of this a thousand times before, In my dreams I couldn't love you more, I will give you my heart until the end of time, Cause all I need is you My Valentine. And even if the sun refused to shine, even if romance ran out of rhyme, you would still have my heart until the end of time. You're all I need my love, My Valentine."_

At the end Inuyasha was in awe. "That was beautiful," he said. _'Where the hell did that come from!' _he thought. Sesshomaru's eyes gleamed and started to spin around in circles _(You'll get it if you watch Outlaw Star, which we also don't own. Of course you have to buy it cause it's not shown on TV anymore). _

Miroku heard the end of the song and was about to go after Sesshomaru and kick his ass for taking what he thought belonged to him when he ran into a pan on a hanging rack in the center of the room and fell unconscious again.

Sesshomaru glanced out of the corner of his eye and smirked victoriously.

_With Naraku, Kagura, and Kanna..._

"So let me get this straight." Naraku said with an upset tone. "Kanna, you broke your spinal cord while playing chess with Kagura?" he asked. "Yes!" said Kanna in a quiet voice.

"Okay," he said. He paused and then asked "How?"

Kanna took a deep breath. "I destroyed her king and she picked up the board and smashed it over my back very gently." Naraku was about to take a sip of his tea/vodka when he paused hearing this. "Uh-huh," he said taking a nervous drink. "Alright," he said finally.

Kagura came in "Why did you create her anyway?" she asked. Naraku sighed and rubbed his temples. "When you were whining about having a little sister, what did I say? 'You have to take responsibility and take care of it.' did I not?" He turned on the television set. "Now both of you... GET OUT OF HERE!"

They quickly swam off. "Now back to Teletubies!" he said happily and sang along to the creepy alien freaks on the screen _(If you like Teletubies, we are truly sorry...NOT!)._

_With Inutaisho and the therapist with the 'speaking problem'..._

Dr. Moon-Yu _(Tee hee)_ sat in shock after listening to Inutaisho's...er...bizarre dreams. "Yes, well, yes. Uuuummmm...Excuse me!" He ran into the other room to call for further 'help' for his patient. "Yes, Dr. Muta-Fooker _(Once again, tee hee)_, I have His Majesty here." he listened to the guy on the other end of the phone for a moment.

"Yes that's right. Yes, yes. Right. Bring a straight jacket and your strongest men. Yes, strongest, yes. Goodbye." Inutaisho looked at him. "Who was that?" he asked innocently. The Dr. shook his head. "No one. Absolutely no one. Yes, that's right."

_With Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, and a steamed up (and out cold with a few nasty bumps on his head) Miroku..._

"Whew! Thank God there was two of us or we would never have got him tied down." said Inuyasha smiling. They had Miroku chained to the wall with Kagome's dirty old underwear duck-taped in his mouth. He was blindfolded and knocked unconcious because Sesshomaru "accidentally" dropped a 20 pound weight on his head.

Sesshomaru gave Inuyasha a sly look and they decided to steal dirty photos of Miroku and Hiten they had found in Miroku's robe and give them to Kagome, hoping she'd fall for them. "Man if she does like them then they will have the worst thing following them around," said Inuyasha.

"And I would know too!" Sesshomaru's face turned hard. "Why the hell were you gonna marry that bitch anyway?" he said as his eyes turned red with jealously and hatred.

Inuyasha sighed. "Her father, MoJo JoJo, swore he'd come and wipe all our asses out if I didn't agree to marry her. I didn't want to! But after I was shown the _'Torture Chamber'_ I couldn't refuse!"

"_Torture Chamber_? Mmmmmm, sounds yummy" Sesshomaru said, his mind wandering off to a place that was his own little _torture chamber_! _(SCARY!) _Inuyasha glanced at him knowing whatever sick thought had crossed Seshhomaru's mind probably involved him.

He gulped.

_Allysandra: Cliff hanger! Please remember to review. No flames!_

_Tetra: Yeah! Ha ha! Miroku has rotten luck!_

_Artemis: Got that right!_

_Celestria: Eeew! Kagome's dirty underwear is a fate worse than death!_

_Calab: Did someone call?_

_Everyone else: NO!_

_All: 'Till next time! Ja ne!_

_P.S. We don't own this song. It belongs to Martina McBride._


	10. Chapter 10

_Allysandra: Okay I believe this story's winding down._

_Tetra: Really! I didn't even know we hit the climax yet!_

_Celestria: Ignore her! Here's a little about us: Allysandra's the smart one, I'm the weird one (I admit it), Artemis is the crazy one, Tetra's the ditzy one, and Calab...well...he's just a pest._

_Artemis: Why he's death, no one knows. Scary huh?_

_Calab: "I love you, you love me..."_

_Allysandra: Shut up brat! You can tell Father I said that too! Let's get on with the damn fic!_

_Tetra: Yah! On with the fic... Ohh look Bold and the Beautiful's on! (Runs off wildly)_

_Allysandra: This is the last chapter before the epilogue._

_Warning: This chapter is unsuitable for readers under 17. Kind of like every other chapter we've written. But this is probably the worst. Screw the innocent._

Ch. 10

Sesshomaru ran off to his room to start plans on his torture chamber room while Inuyasha sat at the kitchen table writing his will. "Alright! I'll give my entire Shellknot CD collection to..." Izayoi burst in wearing her headphones singing to Shellknot.

She grabbed a bottle of wine and left. Inuyasha continued writing. "...to my dad instead of my mom." Inuyasha stopped again when he heard a knock at the...window? He walked towards the window, which happens to be closest to the ocean, and opened it. Suddenly he let out a shriek of despair.

He saw Inutaisho "floating" on water that rose from the ocean floor. "Yo, brat! Get that hot chick of a mother of yours here so I's (deliberate) can talk to her!"

Inuyasha was about to slam the window in his face when Sesshomaru burst in with a blinfold and a leather whip. He stared at his father long and hard before responding to what he saw. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT!" He grabbed Inuyasha in a "protective" embrace.

Unfortunantly, Izayoi heard Sesshomaru's totally inappropriate screams and came to investigate. She walked in and saw Inuyasha being squeezed to death by Sesshomaru, and Inutaisho, her worst nightmare, at the window "flying" in the air.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE! I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF YOU!" she screamed at him.

Inutaisho grinned and ran a hand through his ponytail and said, "I'm back, baby. How 'bout a kiss? You know, you actually make me want to go straight again... I just said that out loud didn't I? Shit!"

Inuyasha turned to Sesshomaru. "You're...you're..." he stammered. Sesshomaru tilted his head. "I'm what?" he asked. Inuyasha took a deep breath. "You're my brother!" he yelled. Naraku popped up beside Inutaisho, obviously drunk. "Sesshomaru...man...y-y-you...banged...your...brother's...a-a-ss!"

Sesshomaru and Inuyasha blushed furiously while Izayoi, Inutaisho, and Bankotsu (the crazy French chef, I don't know how he got in there) all looked at the two surprised. Naraku looked around and saw everyone looking at the two and decided he too should look at them surprised. Inuyasha shook his head furiously.

"I'm a virgin...!" he turned to Sesshomaru. "Right?" sesshomaru backed away. Inuyasha was angry. "When!" Sesshomaru looked at him with a puppy-dog look.

"Remember when you fell asleep in my arms after Miroku tried to tap that fine ass of yours?" Inuyasha blushed worse than ever.

"You pervert!" he jumped him.

While this was going on, Naraku had sneaked to the dungeon. "Well looks like Kagura and Kanna get a new toy (dun dun dun). He took off with him. (Bye bye Miroku. We love Miroku but in this story, no one is safe!)

Back upstairs in the kitchen...

For a while, Hiten was trying to understand what had just happened. (He's not very quick, is he?) He had just found out that he wasn't Inuyasha's father anymore. 'Sweet!' he thought wickedly. 'Now I can screw Inuyasha and Sesshomaru and not feel guilty about it!'

Unfortunantly, Sesshomaru saw the lust in his eyes. "YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! INUYASHA'S MINE!" He roared. Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "You are really possessive do you know that?" he asked him. While Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, and Hiten were arguing about who-loves-who more, Izayoi and Inutaisho were having a very disturbing discussion.

"Oh and do you remember the time in the bathroom downstairs when I showed what I could really do?" Izayoi said. (Bathroom is underwater. It overflowed a long time ago. Get it!) Inutaisho laughed. It sounded like a dog barking.

"Oh yeah! I remember that! You never worked harder in your life! Of course that was the time when we had Sesshomaru so all that hard work contributed to Sesshomaru's hard and empty head!" said Inutaisho. They both laughed whole-heartedly for some time before exchanging a glance and disappearing out of the window. (Insert idea here! Snicker!)

Back to Sesshomaru and Inuyasha...Hiten has been knocked out again...

Inuyasha was telling Sesshomaru off when he felt a sharp pain in his stomache. "Further more...OW! Damn! What the fuck!" he yelled as he doubled over in pain. Sesshomaru's eyes widened.

"Baby, are you ok?" he asked. Inuyasha glared. "Yes, I like doubling over in pain you idiot!" Sesshomaru looked relieved. "Oh good. I was worried for a minute." Before Inuyasha could snap at him, Kaede, the 98 year old nurse followed by her snotty old cow of an assistant, Kikyo, who never smiled. (If you are a Kikyo lover, we apologize) Inuyasha cringed.

Kikyo was a well known slut in the kingdom. She had done everything in her power to seduce him.

Inuyasha, between each pain, looked up and yelled at Kaede for Kikyo's presence. "WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING HERE! DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT KIND OF TORMENT THAT WHORE PUT ME THROUGH!

I WOKE UP WITH A DIRTY UNDERSHIRT, THAT I HAD BEEN WEARING FOR HOURS IN THE SUN, DUCK-TAPED IN MY MOUTH AND I WAS TIED BOY-SCOUT STYLE TO THE BED!" Kaede rolled her eyes and walked toward Inuyasha.

"Oh stop bitching about that bitch in my wake. It's bad enough I have to work with her! Please don't remind me that she's there!" she yelled. Sesshomaru was still stunned at the news about what Kikyo had done to HIS Inuyasha. "She tied Inuyasha, MY Inuyasha, to a bed! Well, continue. Tell me the rest of the story so I have more reason to beat her ass into Hell!"

Kikyo turned to him. "I'm standing right here, ya know!" Sesshomaru snapped. "I don't care! What else did you do to my mate?"

Kaede interrupted. "Inuyasha, we need to perform some urinary tests." Inuyasha looked at her. "Huh?" he asked. Kikyo got all googly eyed. "We need you to piss in this cup." She said producing a plastic cup with a cap. Inuyasha's eyes went as wide as Inutaisho's when he spys on Sesshomaru dressing and undressing.

"(cough, cough)...um...I don't uh...WHAT!" Kaede almost threw her medical kit at Inuyasha's dumb head. "FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! PEE IN THE DAMN CUP ALREADY! WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!" She stormed off to find some herbs for her medicine. Kikyo handed the cup to Inuyasha and walked to a corner so she wouldn't peek. (Yeah, right! and Kanna has a great personality)

"Geez!" Inuyasha said upset. "They weren't kidding were they!" Inuyasha took the cup, went into the bathroom, and did his business.

With Inutaisho and Izayoi...

Instead of staying with Inuyasha, Izayoi loaded Inutaisho into a little red wagon she had since childhood and pulled him toward her room. (Aaaalright! ;)) "Uggg!" grunted Izayoi. "Almost there!" Inutaisho rolled his eyes. "That's what you said three flights of stairs ago! I could have crawled here faster!"

Izayoi ignored this remark and kept tugging until...FINALLY. "Yes! We made it!" she squealed. Inutaisho climbed out of the wagon and crawled toward the bed. With Izayoi's help, he was on the bed in seconds.

"Now how about a game of 'Bouncy Seahorse'? he said with a wink. And they did.

Back with Inuyasha...

3 hours of yelling, cursing, things being thrown (mostly Kikyo) later, the tests were over. Kaede was wide-eyed and pale. "Er...um...uuh...I-Inuy-ash-a? We have the test results back." she said nervously. Inuyasha sighed. "Finally! What's wrong with me?" Kaede just stared from him, to Sesshomaru, to Inuyasha's stomache, and back again.

(Enter Jeopardy music) Sesshomaru glared at her after a minute. "What! Tell us now you old bitch!" Kaede ignored him and took a deep breath."Inuyasha, I don't know how to tell you this but..." Everyone waited impatiently. Finally Kaede spoke...

"Inuyasha...you're...pregnant...with... 5 pups."

_Allysandra: (Evil laugh) How'd you like that!_

_Tetra: Wow that's gotta hurt! Hey! Celestria! Come back with my peanut butter!_

_Celestria: She likes peanut butter! Here! Peanut butter mongrol!_

_Artemis: This has been going on for hours._

_Calab: (Stares into space)...(Crikets chirp)_

_Allysandra: Okay. Tell us if you'd like a sequel after we get through with the epiloque._


	11. Chapter 11

_Allysandra: Hey! We're sorry it took so long!_

_Calab: London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down..._

_Artemis: My fair lady!_

_Celestria: My ears are bleeding!_

_Tetra: Ahhh! I can't see they're so loud!_

_Calab: You want I should sing Mary Had A Little Lamb?_

_Allysandra and Tetra: No!_

Epilogue

_Last time on The Little Merdemon..._

_(Calab in announcer man voice) We found out Inuyasha was pregnant with five -that's right- five pups! What chaos is in store? Stay tuned! This chapter brought to you by Forget-Me-Not perfume made with a real flower that makes people forget stuff. You won't remember the last time you smelled so good. Actually, you won't remember much at all._

_9 months later... (We didn't want Inuyasha to suffer...much)_

"Push!" Kaede siad from her death bed. Sesshomaru had to deliver the babies. "I can't it's not going back in!" He yelled back as he tried to push the first child back in the womb with a chopstick. _(Yeah we know: brain dead)_

"Get the fuck away from me! This is all your fault! I hate you, you fish fucker! Go to hell!" Inuyasha screamed.

An hour later...

Five babies sat there.

"Aaw. This one looks like me" he said as he examined the second-born girl who they had named Allysandra. She had thick blue-silver hair and a long matching tail. On her cheeks were twin jagged slashes of blue. As he bent down to examine her closer, she growled and spat in his face. The other babies broke out into evil and amused laughter.

"But she has her _mother's _attitude," he said as wiped his face off.

"Aaaw. I love them already!" Inuyasha said as he gave his precious babies an approving smile. "Wait...What the fuck did you call me, fish-boy!"

Sesshomaru examined the other children. One had black hair and if you looked close enough, you could see pink highlights as well. They named her Celestria. Another had orange hair and a dizzy goofy look on her face. Tetra was the name they gave her. The final girl had pure black hair and was bouncing up and down and giggling madly. They decided to call her Artemis.

Finally, the only boy, Calab, had golden hair and a bad attitude. Although they looked different than normal quintuplets, they each had Inuyasha's doggy ears and one other thing in common.

They all had the same cold, yet mischievious, golden eyes. They all also had the same evil grin on their faces. "Aaaw! My babies are so..." Inuyasha paused and glanced at his son. Calab was very still when not a moment ago, he was as alive as the others. "What's wrong with my son, you old bitchy hag!" Sesshomaru asked Kaede.

"I'm on my death bed! How should I know!" she yelled back. They began to mourn the death of their only son. suddenly, an evil cackle was heard.

They looked at Calab again to see him giggling like crazy and rolling around on the blanket the children had been placed on.

Sesshomaru's mouth hung open. 'If all our kids are like this, I'm fuckin' scared!" he thought. Inuyasha said they were the most perfect kids in the world for freaking the shit out of Sesshomau as well as spitting in his face.

Unknown to him, they were already planning his demise along with Sesshomaru's. Nothing personal.

Here's an update on everyone else: Kaede passed away at the age of 98. _(We know she ain't that old, but it just makes it funny hahaha!)_ Kikyo left and was never heard from again. Good riddance! Izayoi is pregnant with Inutaisho's third child. _(Makes you ask yourself: How did that happen!)_ Kagome went insane and is now living at Nuts-R-Us for very, very insane people.

Naraku and Kagura torture poor Miroku everyday and small little Kanna finally died after breaking every bone in her tiny little body when a newborn puppy attacked her.

_To Inuyasha and Sesshomaru later that night:_

"Please?" Sesshomaru asked. "No!" Inuyasha yelled as he sat in bed reading 'Mating Season Magazine'. Sesshomaru huffed. Then, he started to do something really annoying.

He made popping noises with his mouth. _(Ever seen Shrek 2?)_ After about 5 minutes, Inuyasha threw the magazine on the floor.

"Okay!" He leapt on Sesshomaru and they shagged until morning.

The next day...

"Okay," said Inutaisho who was babysitting, "Say 'Grampa'" Allysandra started to speak in their baby talk. "Gaa Babba ya gwampa" Translation: '**You're_ old and you smell like shit, Grandpa' _**

The other babies began to cackle hysterically. "Aaaaw! That's my girl!" Inutaisho said proudly. _(You know how Inuyasha is a little ditzy sometimes? This is the guy he gets it from.)_

_Anywho, back to important people...ME! (Tetra) This section will be italicized and in bold to symbolize us speaking our own language. Enjoy!_

**_'Now back to the Council of Babies!' said Tetra. 'Be quiet so Queen Allysandra can speak!' Allysandra gave Tetra a half flattered, half confused look. _**

******_Okay, I'm flattered but your going a little overboard. Now, to business. Last night, while I was creating a plan to escape that damn pen they put us in, I heard the He-Wife (Inuyasha) and the Mistake (Sesshomaru) getting their freak on. Disgusting! They must be done away with!" _**

Calab almost lost his last nut! **_"Momma (Inuyasha)? With...NOT-THE-MOMMA (Sesshomaru)!" _**As Calab ran around acting like a retarded pig about to be roasted, Allysandra continued the council with her ideas to kill the Mistake.

**_"Now, here is what we'll do..."_**

_(Now, before we tell you what gruesome plan we came up with, here is something else...shocking! Mwuhahaha! Inuyasha and Sesshomaru time! This is two weeks later. Yes, our plan takes that long.)_

Inuyasha stood over the toilet he got very well aquainted with the first 6 months of his pregnancy. He saw it everyday, at 4:30 a.m. And here he is again, like a nightmare. A horrible idea popped into Inuyasha's little _(might we stress little! He he!)_ brain. "Oh no! I had better not be...no its impossible...right? SESSHOMARU!"

Like a prancing donkey _(with an even less brain than Inuyasha)_ Sesshomaru waltzed into the bathroom with the look of a satisfied little child who just got a toy. "Yes my sweet pidg..." He was cut off by a half vomitting, half angry Inuyasha who looked like he was about to explode.

"LET ME TELL YOU SOME THING! IF I'M PREGNANT AGAIN, I'LL CUT OFF YOUR DICK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS..." in the biggest baby squeal, Sesshomaru bounced off of walls.

"Your PREGNANT! Oooh! Boy or girl? No wait, don't tell me. I want it to be a surprise! I'll name it..."

"SHUT YOUR FACE YOU IDIOT! THE ONLY THING YOU'LL BE NAMING IF I'M PREGNANT IS YOUR DEATH DATE!" Inuyasha screeched. All while yelling and screaming, Inuyasha was taking out a pregnancy test _(that he stole from THE- WITCH-HE-DOES-NOT-WANT-TO-NAME-THAT-COMES-FROM-THE-FUTURE-AND-WON'T-GO-BACK)_.

After testing himself he waited until he heard the little beep. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru both hovered over it with huge surprised glances of hate and surprise.

_(He he he he! I could say cliffhangy! But this is the last chapter so you little humans got away easy. Alright, lets start this with us "attacking" Sesshomaru.)_

**_"Alright babies! Attack NOW!"_** Allysandra screamed with a pitchfork in her hand. Her 'idea' was to stab him to death with pitchforks and knives. _(Tetra: Don't ask us were we got it from, we don't know. We don't have a secret stash in the closet on the third floor of the mansion...he he he. Anywho...I'll never say, on with the story.)_

Inuyasha and Sesshomaru turned around just in time to see Calab jump on Sesshomaru, with his favorite pan, and start welting him with it. **_"NOT THE MOMMA...DIE! LEAVE MOMMA ALONE! DIE, DIE, DIIIEE!"_**

It took all of Sesshomaru's strength to get the boxing baby off of him long enough to utter Inuyasha's turn to talk. As Inuyasha glared at the pregnancy test, he started to cry uncontrollably. "I...don't...b...belive this! I... I...I...!" Celestria lost her patience with Calab.

She ran over and hit Sesshomaru right in the nuts until he keeled over on his side holding his 'little _(might we stress very little, snicker, snicker, milky way)_ precious'. Inuyasha didn't even listen to Sesshomaru's wails of pain. He was still coping. "I'm...PREGNANT!" Everyone stopped except Calab who still beat Sesshomaru on the head.

_(Cute kid, huh!)_ All attentive kids stared at Inuyasha with a look of horror. In unanimous baby talk **_"YOU WHORE! NOT ANOTHER ONE!"_**

THE END!

* * *

_Allysandra: We could write a sequal? Yeah bet you weren't expecting that!_

_Tetra: Let's let them absorb this first!_

_Celestria: That was fun!_

_Artemis: Later Taters!_

_Calab: Please review!_

_All: (Bow)_


End file.
